"Shades of Green"

TOS: Spock/McCoy, Kirk; double drabble; Rated PG; Spock/McCoy Fest

I never thought I'd say this, even to myself, but I'm jealous. Jealous of the way they share secret little in-jokes that no one's privy to but them. Jealous of the way the way their eyes light up when the other walks into the room. Jealous of every damn thing they have together, and I don't. Jealous of their love.

Yes, I'm married to my ship. She's the perfect lover and I don't think I'll ever settle down because of her. But that doesn't mean I don't crave human companionship; warmth, conversation, adventure, sex... I love it all.

But they've got each other now, and I'm left on the outside, looking in. I wish it could go back to the way it was before they fell in love. Back when we were the three amigos and there wasn't anything we couldn't face -- together. All three of us. Now it's just two... and a third wheel.

Oh they try to include me when they can, and do their best to see that there's still time for all three of us to hang out, but it's not like it was before. It never will be.

Because there's two... and then there's me.

Copyright May 2005 by Cait N.

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